The 2025 Super Bowl Ad Awards For The Non-Poetic

Welcome to the 2025 Super Bowl Ad Awards For The Non-Poetic! Super Bowl LIX is history and the Eagles are decisive Super Bowl champions! And it’s time to reveal our judging panel’s (me) top honors for this year’s Super Bowl ads.

Everyone has their opinions of the best and worst, funniest and failures, award winners and money wasters, noteworthy and not worthy. But our Super Bowl Ad Awards may stray wildly from the standard accolades for Super Bowl ads. Our goal is to recognize the Super Bowl ads that stuck and the ones that sucked. That means highlighting the ads that resonated with the person who watched the game first, the commercials second and had a beer or two (from the viewpoint of an advertising guy who worked Super Bowl promotions in bars for 15 years). So, without further non-poetry…

Best Ad That Screams "We Have No New Ideas" Award

Co-opting a catchphrase from a 25-year old movie for your Super Bowl ad concept? Check!

Using a cheap, attention-getting stunt to generate "buzz" before the Super Bowl? Affirmative!

Congratulations Coors Light for hitting the "We're Creatively Bankrupt" daily double! Like actual Coors Light, their "Got A Case of the Mondays" spot featuring sloths having a bad day was empty and flavorless. A line from the funny movie Office Space, Coors Light adapted "Case of the Mondays" into an unfunny concept for their Super Bowl spot. But Coors Light doubled down on their bad idea with pre-game ads with an intentional misspelling to generate cheap buzz. (Pro tip: If you have to explain your concept and stunt before the ad runs, you're doing it wrong.) Honestly, a silver bullet should have been used to kill this idea before it ever came to life.

The "Please, Just Go Away!" Ad Award

Uber Eats gave us a celebrity-studded spot on the history of football … or something. But piled atop a full season of Matthew McConaughey playing a middle-aged Wooderson for Uber Eats, this ad was not alright, alright, alright! Too many celebrity cameos, too many contrived scenarios for all those celebrities and too many concepts jammed into one spot. But, ultimately, this spot earned its award for the use of not one but two of the most overexposed pitchmen of our time; McConaughey and Peyton Manning. That McConaughey also appeared in not one, but two, SalesForce ads (and I'm still not sure what the hell SalesForce does) didn't help. Please advertisers, there are pitchmen who can do the same thing McConaughey and Manning are doing for your brand who would work for less. And they'd be far less annoying and overexposed.

Honorable Mention: Jesus, He Gets Us

As a concept, the He Gets Us message is tired and hasn't evolved. And while it's still trying to be a show-stopper, the message really falls flat on Super Bowl Sunday. The spot asked us to ponder, "What is Greatness?" Even with Johnny Cash singing Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus, this spot was not "greatness."

Best "Close But No Cigar" Super Bowl Ad Award

The Ram Trucks spot featuring Glen Powell as Goldilocks could have been a classic among Super Bowl ads. A celebrity in an absurd situation can always play when it sells the product. Instead, Dodge overplayed their hand and overproduced the ad. Instead of cutting through the noise, there was too much screaming, too many booms and it was ultimately more noise. In the end, it was a :60 spot that would have had more impact as a :30. 

Best Ad That Put Everyone To Sleep Award

Jeep has a long history of room-quieting Super Bowl ads featuring big-name celebrities waxing poetically about freedom and America. Those ads can work in the right time and place. This year, however, Jeep chose to have Harrison Ford present a monotonous, ponderous, two minute monologue on freedom, acceptance and America in the 4th quarter of a blowout game. Though many viewers likely were still paying attention at that point, I'd bet that spot didn't hold their attention for the full two minutes. Even the novelty of Harrison Ford as spokesperson had worn off by the cute payoff at the end. And, for all the mention of freedom and America, did anyone bother to notice the irony that Jeep is owned by Netherlands-based Stellantis?

The Office Dog Honors Memorial Award

Named in memory of my beloved Office Dog (he was the goodest of boys!), this award honors the best use of animals (preferably monkeys) in a Super Bowl ad. But, it seems monkeys are passé in Super Bowl ads these days and dogs were a rare commodity too. Other than sloths and NerdWallet's talking manatee, animals were scant in this year's ads. So, this award goes to the plucky young Budweiser Clydesdale that was too young to join the team but bravely pushes a dropped keg to a bar. However, while it likely made everyone say "Awwwww," it will have zero impact on Budweiser's flat sales. 

The Super Bowl Ad WTF? Award

Streaming service Tubi gave us a weird concept about a kid born with a skin cowboy hat. or was he born with a cowboy hat-shaped head? Whatever it was, the kid (and later the adult) liked Westerns and therefore Tubi was the streaming service for him. Or something. I think the spot ran twice and it was still too weird for the concept to make sense. 

Best Ad That Didn't Make Fetch Happen Award

Easy Mean Girls reference aside, Fetch is an app, or something. And they pulled a cheap stunt with a million dollar giveaway in $10,000 just for downloading and opening the app. I still don't know what the app does and I didn't scan the QR code that was on the screen for the duration of the app. Throw in that this ad ran at the 2-minute warning break in the 4th quarter of a blowout game and this was a big waste of time and money. And for the people that did see it, it was quickly forgotten among a sea of better – and earlier – Super Bowl ads. (Note the ad linked above is a "making of" video, since it appears the spot itself isn't online.)

The Super Bowl Ad Awards For The Non-Poetic Water Cooler Winner

This year, I found the Super Bowl ads awash in mediocrity. But from that morass of mediocrity, two stood above the rest. In fact, these were the two that I actually did want to go back and watch again. 

The Doritos ad did everything a Super Bowl ad should do. It was fun, engaging, cut through the noise and had a nice payoff. My only issue was it ran in the 1st quarter, which it might get lost among the other attempts at Super Bowl ad blockbusters. 

The other ad I thought was great was the Stella Artois Two David's ad. Here, David Beckham discovers he has a long-lost brother, also named David. Having Matt Damon as the other David, along with some witty dialogue made this spot, fun, memorable, and effective Even though it came late in the 4th quarter, this ad was good enough that the people who actually saw it took note and will be talking about it tomorrow. 

So, there ya’ go… my Super Bowl Ad Awards for 2025. Some good, some bad, some creative, some cliché. Feel free to leave your thoughts, picks, pans, favorites, and failures in the comments. And, until then, when does the 2025 football seas

The Tour de France and Maximizing Performance

 Welcome to the 2024 edition of What The Tour de France Can Teach You About Advertising. This is my annual post where I use professional bicycling's Tour de France to illustrate ways to improve your advertising. You can catch up on previous entries here.

The 2024 Tour de France was expected to be a battle between the two top cyclists in the world, Tadej Pogacar and Jonas Vingegaard. Vingegaard had won the last two Tours and Pogacar took the two prior to that. But as the season evolved, questions arose about each.

Pogacar raced in, and won, the Giro d'Italia in May. In the old days, cyclists would ride in all the "Grand Tours" (the Tour of France, Giro d'Italia and Vuelta a Espana). Today, however, the Tour de France is considered the Super Bowl of cycling. As such, many top cyclists orient their season and training around that race. And given that, some questioned whether Pogacar could recover fully to be in top shape in France.

The questions were even greater for Vingegaard after he suffered a broken collarbone, broken ribs and collapsed lung in a crash in April. For most cyclists, the broken bones would be enough to throw off their training. But the collapsed lung also kept Vingegaard in the hospital for 12 days. That was huge since it's generally believed a cyclist can lose up to 10% of his or her VO2 max (the body's ability to efficiently transport oxygen to the muscles) after two weeks off the bike. Vingegaard's hopes suffered another blow as the Tour approached when several of the top support riders on his team were lost to injury or illness. Ultimately, Vingegaard's participation in the Tour de France wasn't confirmed until about two weeks before the start.

Reaching Peak Performance

It was once accepted for pro cyclists to arrive at the Tour de France in not-quite-top shape and use the early stages of the race to "round into form." Since then, biometrics, data analysis, VO2 measurement, power meters and many other factors have entered the equation. Thus, riders can now train to be at "peak fitness" for specific races.

To reach peak fitness, pro cyclists and other endurance athletes focus on high-intensity training while monitoring the factors above. However, too much high-intensity training can negatively affect an athlete's fitness. And that's why professional cyclists structure their training to alternate between attaining peak fitness and more relaxed periods designed for rest and recovery.

Tadej Pogacar showed he could recover from his win at the Giro and still be able to win in France. However, Vingegaard looked to be close, but not quite in top form for le Tour. Though he finished in second place and even won a mountain stage, Vingegaard lacked the top speed and fitness level that Pogacar displayed throughout the race. Not even his stupid-looking, incomparably large time trial helmet could help Vingegaard bridge the gap.

Maximizing Your Advertising Performance

So what does this have to do with your company's advertising? Remember that advertising is about impressions. That means, keeping your brand in front of your customers as often as possible. It means keeping your customers "conditioned" to your brand and message so that they know what you stand for and what you can deliver. To do that, focus on an ad program that broadcasts your message at regular intervals rather than one big splash. That way, when you do hit your peak period, you can amp up your advertising and take advantage of the "conditioning" you've already done.

Perhaps the most vivid example of the idea of conditioning your audience is the Super Bowl. For the big advertisers, the Super Bowl is simply an expensive, flashy way to burnish their brand with ads that may have nothing to do with their goods or services. That's because, by advertising throughout the year, their brand is already familiar to consumers. But, almost every year, there may be one or two Super Bowl advertisers that no one has heard of. Getting overlooked on Super Bowl Sunday is easy, but the unknowns trying to make a splash are often forgotten quickly.

So how can you maximize your advertising performance? Simply put together a 12-month advertising plan that maps out your ad strategy forthcoming year. Plan to spend more during your peak sales periods. But, to maximize your advertising performance, spread other advertising expenditures throughout different periods as well. By putting in the work during your slower periods, you can ensure your advertising during peak periods gets maximum results.

Pro cyclists put in hours of work to perform their best at the Tour. And with a little bit of effort, you can tune your ad plan for maximum performance for your business, as well. Simply keep your brand and messaging visible consistently so, that when you hit your peak periods, your advertising will have a strong impact. And that way, you'll get peak performance for your advertising dollar, too.

How Do You Define Your Brand?

Your brand is the secret sauce of your business. Read on to see how defining your brand can ultimately define your business. 

Recently, a new business closed in Oklahoma City. While that happens every day all across the world, this business was unique in both what it offered and, apparently, how it defined and marketed its brand.

The business was called The Banquet Cinema Pub and, the name pretty much said everything; the place offered food, movies and alcohol. More specifically, Banquet Cinema aspired to be a locally-owned version of Alamo Drafthouse Cinema; a chain of theaters where you can dine, drink, and enjoy a movie, separately or all at the same time. The problem for Banquet Cinema, however, was that they failed to define their brand to their market. And, while it's easy for me to cast aspersions and play backseat marketer, Banquet Cinema's owner basically said that very thing:

“The biggest challenge has been that the movies have done really well, but people were confused they didn’t need a ticket to come into the space,” Wheat said. “And then were those going to the movies and not knowing there was this whole dining experience up front.”

Banquet Cinema did generate some publicity when it opened, and that likely created some word-of-mouth, but it appears ownership did little more to define their brand after that. While there was a website, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter accounts, the lack of brand definition is apparent with each. Where Banquet Cinema could have clearly defined the unique qualities of their business on their website's "About" page, they gave potential customers this instead:

Get ready for a unique movie & dining experience with a giant dining area including shuffleboard tables, games and a fantastic array of food and drink, along with two charming cinema rooms.

I realize it's hard enough to run a bar, restaurant, or movie theater, so trying to market all three rolled into one is certainly a significant challenge. In their social media however, Banquet Cinema seemed to never market all three elements of the business together. Instead, rather than a coherent brand identity and unified marketing message, it appeared at various times they wanted to be a brunch spot, a live music venue, a neighborhood pub, or a sports bar. Given that, it's certainly understandable that "people were confused they didn’t need a ticket to come into the space" and that there "were those going to the movies and not knowing there was this whole dining experience up front.”

While the above statements indicate (to me at least) they could clearly see their problem with their brand identity, Banquet Cinema pulled the plug after roughly six months in business. When you're only relying on word-of-mouth advertising and social media to market your business, establishing a brand identity that will build a customer base takes time. The old Rule of 7 in advertising was that it took at least seven impressions to compel someone to act on your marketing message. In the digital age, you need at least seven impressions if not more, and your message has to be clear and precise to rise above all the other clutter. While I'm sure there were other factors, from the outside at least, Banquet Cinema's narrow marketing plan and what appeared to be a lack of coherent branding certainly didn't help the business rise above the noise.

So now, think about your business. Remember that your brand is the promise your company or products makes to your customers. Does your marketing accurately reflect that? Does every bit of advertising you do contribute to defining and shaping your brand to not only your existing patrons, but to potential new customers who may be unfamiliar with your products or services? In other words, if someone saw your website, one of your ads, or social media posts, would they be able to quickly ascertain who you are, what you do, and what you're selling?

Knowing what your business is about is one thing, but if you can't relate that to your customers, you might have a problem. Just as every movie tells a story, make sure your marketing script tells a story of your business that will continually connect with your patrons so that they can relate to what you offer.

If you need some help telling your story, defining your brand, or developing a better brand strategy, give us a call and let's talk about it over a beer, a bite, and maybe even a movie.

See also: Margaritaville and The Four Ps of Branding Magic

The 2019 Super Bowl Ad Awards For The Non Poetic

Welcome to the 2019 Super Bowl Ad Awards For The Non-Poetic! Super Bowl LIII is history, the Patriots are once again Super Bowl champions, America is throughly sick of Tom Brady, and it's time to reveal our judging panel's (me and Office Dog) favorites from this year's crop of Super Bowl ads.

Note that, while everyone has their opinions of the best and worst, funniest and failures, award winners and money wasters, noteworthy and not worthy, our honors may stray wildly from the standard accolades for Super Bowl ads. Our goal is to recognize the Super Bowl ads that stuck, the ads that sucked, and the ads resonated with the person who watched the game first, the commercials second, and had a beer or two while actually enjoying the entire show (from the viewpoint of an advertising guy who worked Super Bowl promotions in bars for 15 years). So, without further non-poetry…

The A For Execution But... Award

Olay went all in in this year's Super Bowl with a TV spot and quarter sponsorship. While a women's face cream buying into the Super Bowl was interesting to see, their spot left just a bit to be desired. Titled and hashtagged Killer Skin, the Olay spot brought us Sarah Michelle Gellar and wove in themes from her turns in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Ultimately, however, the problem was it was too busy, too loud, and too convoluted to get the brand message across.

The Office Dog Honors Award

This award honors the best use of animals (preferably monkeys) in Super Bowl ads. However, monkeys seem to be passé in Super Bowl advertising these days and, apparently, so are dogs or animals in general, though WeatherTech did feature some good dogs in their ad highlighting their PetComfort line of products. However, though he didn't do much, Budweiser's ad featuring one of their dalmatians with his ears flapping in the wind did the best job of  scoring all the warm fuzzies with a dog in a Super Bowl ad this year…

The WTF Award

In a year filled with plenty of WTF moments (looking at you TurboTax), Mint Mobile took the prize for their lame attempt at creating a Super-Bowl-wacky-buzz ad touting chunky style milk. In the process of the attempt to memorable, they kinda forgot about the purpose of spending big bucks on Super Bowl ads. You know? That whole promote your brand thing…

The Best Ad Only Hardcore Football Fans Completely Got Award

I thoroughly enjoyed the NFL's 100th Anniversary ad. It was wildly entertaining with humor, action, callbacks to some of the league's most memorable moments, and a nod to some of today's current and up-and-coming superstars (hellloooo Baker Mayfield!). The problem was, it was too much. Too many faces, too many cameos, too much action, and a superfluous appearance by a female football player crammed into two minutes and, on top of all that, the casual fan likely didn't know half the players or moments noted in the spot. It was still a great spot that will merit a few more views, but a little more restraint could have created a much better spot…

The Please, For The Love Of God, Go Away Award

In a cheap and lazy ploy, Devour tried very hard to be naughty by implying that their frozen dinners are worthy(?) of online porn-like addiction. Food porn, get it? In fact, their original version even used the word "porn," which was rejected by the network. And, in an even more crass grab for attention, the company's lets-be-naughty strategy included running the full ad (with mention of "porn") on the PornHub site. I never thought anyone would outclass GoDaddy for pointlessly sexist yet tacky Super Bowl advertising, but I'm pretty sure Devour did the job this year:

Best Pointless Use Of A Pointless Celebrity Award

An incredibly huge field of candidates in this category this year. Planters Peanuts ran a great ad that would have done just fine without the pointless appearance of Charlie Sheen and Alex Rodriguez. Colgate's unoriginal, let-try-to-be-buzzy spot featuring Owen Wilson was also celebrity endorsement money that was thrown down the drain (and Seinfeld did that bit 20-something years ago). All of Pepsi's ads with Steve Carell and others just sucked. Bubly Sparkling Water ran a fun ad featuring Michael Bublé that was actually a nice tie-in. However, like Bublé's music, it will be quickly forgotten. And, while Amazon likely got the biggest bang for their buck with their mish-mash ad featuring Harrison Ford, rather than promoting it, the ad actually highlighted all the concerns people have with virtual assistants like Alexa (the ad they should have run, featuring just Harrison Ford, ran after the game).

But those pointless celebrity appearances all paled in comparison to Burger King's ad, which featured Andy Warhol (who died in 1987!) silently opening a Whopper, pouring ketchup, and then dipping the burger in ketchup. The big payoff was the lame hashtag #EatLikeAndy. The clip they used, called "Andy Warhol Eats A Hamburger," was licensed from a documentary film called 66 Scenes From America. It actually could have been so much more, but ultimately Burger King simply wants us to eat like a man who's been dead for 32 years…

Honorable Mention

Stella Artois got lots of nostalgic buzz for their spot that brought back Sarah Jessica Parker as her Sex in the City character Carrie Bradshaw and Jeff Bridges reviving his Jeffrey The Dude Lebowski character from The Big Lebowski. In the end, however, the ad came off as a cheap, uncreative, too over-the-top hook designed solely for max Super Bowl hype. It was already forgotten by the end of the game.

The Water Cooler Winner

There was no debate on this one and it was pretty obvious from the moment it ran who our Water Cooler Award Winner would be. Floating above a sea mediocre ads that just tried too hard or missed the mark, the Bud Light/Game of Thrones ad is what everyone is going to be talking about around the office water cooler on Monday. Bud Light had already set things up with their amusing No Corn Syrup spot (though it won't matter to most beer drinkers, Bud Light did a good job hammering that message home with a couple other spots during the game), but the follow up, starting with typical Bud Light wit, took a very dark, violent, and surprising turn to segue into a fiery reminder that a new Game of Thrones season starts soon on HBO. This is what a Super Bowl ad should be. It was fun, light, unexpected, and very memorable. Nice job and, yea, I'll say it… Dilly Dilly!

So, there ya' go... my take on the Super Bowl ads for 2019. Some good, some bad, some creative, some cliché. Feel free to leave your thoughts, picks, pans, favorites and failures in the comments. And, until then, when does the 2019 football season start?

How DIY Advertising Can Leave Your Business DOA

I'm currently watching a company on its way out of business. The writing has been on the wall for awhile, it's not pretty, and the worst part is, it was completely avoidable.

Since the errors this business made along the way are too numerous to mention, I'll just provide a quick overview. Starting with a solid business model targeting an under-served target audience, this company quickly began shooting at a harder-to-reach target audience before it ever got established. When that failed, the firm changed its focus almost weekly in a desperate attempt to be any and all things to all people. In the end, the business was left with a brand it couldn't clearly define and a product it couldn't sell.

A big part of the reason this company failed to sell what it offered was the fact that its marketing and advertising changed as often as its focus. And, the reason for that was, this company, which directly employed no one with any advertising experience, was attempting to do its own advertising. In addition to poorly written and executed ads with obvious stock photos and social media that was often wildly off-brand, this company relied on an inconsistent, do-it-yourself ad strategy that was alternately ham-handed, half-baked or hilariously bad.

I've ranted about the perils of DIY before and, while it should be common sense, it still happens. That aside, there are companies who do their own advertising and marketing and do it well. Further, I've seen any number of businesses who have been quite successful doing their own advertising strictly on the web and social media. However, there are many more companies, like my example above, who wind up DOA directly because of their bad DIY advertising and marketing. Is it the only reason that business is failing? Probably not. But, poorly executed advertising and an undefined brand that didn't contribute one iota to the bottom line certainly didn't help.

So, how can your small business avoid a similar fate? For one, stick to what your business is focused on and, if you don't have someone in-house who can help out, let someone whose business is advertising help with the advertising. If your budget doesn't allow that, develop a consistent marketing plan and stick to it. DO make sure every radio, TV, print, direct mail or banner ad, Facebook post and Tweet you produce consistently defines and promotes the brand promise your company is offering your target audience. Keep track of what hits your goals and what doesn't and, at the end of six months or a year, adjust your marketing toward what works.

DON'T pivot your entire marketing plan (or your business plan for that matter) around just one element of the program or a blip in results. Instead, focus on keeping your brand message consistent and defined across a variety of channels to maximize the efficiency of your marketing plan.

Good do-it-yourself advertising won't kill your business. However, poorly planned and executed DIY advertising and marketing that doesn't consistently support your brand can leave you DOA, no matter how many Facebook Likes or re-tweets you might have.

Copywriting and design do matter. And, if you aren't a copywriter and/or designer or don't have someone in-house who can help you with your advertising and marketing, drop us a line. We can get your business on track PDQ!

See also: Is Your Advertising and Marketing an Expense or an Investment?